Online dating, once a very hush-hush topic is now more popular than ever. For single Sikhs looking for their life partner, the family introduction network is not as big as it once was, and, if you don’t meet someone at university or through work it can be difficult to meet like-minded single single Sikhs. Dating and marriage apps for single Sikhs like Sikhing are a fantastic way to search for single Sikhs to date and connect with people.
However, the dating process, and finding a life partner, in general, can be a tough. If you’re feeling a little (or very) burnt out from dating right now, your feelings are valid and I want to give you a big hug. Here are a few tips to help combat dating fatigue.
1. Manage Expectations
I hate those blogs that have the audacity to tell you you’re the problem. That said, you’re my only lead and likely reader at this moment. So I want to ask you this: what do you expect from matches in the first handful of dates?
Are your expectations realistic and have you discussed them with your prospective partner? Managing expectations this way puts you in the role of acting, instead of waiting, for your relational needs to be met. Be clear and up front about what you are looking for and what your deal breakers are.
Also consider whether burnout is coming from the expectations placed on yourself, be that from society or a sharp inner critic. Comparison is the thief of joy, the chance to enjoy yourself and the hopefuls you meet.
Often times, people are asked in the community, at weddings and functions: why aren’t you married yet, or, when are you getting married? Shivani Pau put out a great video discussing this very topic.
Reminder: There is no “right age” to be married by and we are all on our own journey.
I find it very annoying and I kind of find it illogical when people say to me, so when are you getting marriedShivani Pau
Dating can feel like work, but it should feel like work you want to do, not work you think you should be doing. Setting boundaries with loved ones, questioning society’s messages and improving how to talk to yourself can help you feel in control again.
2. Get your feelings out, then try to let them go
When dating, things sometimes don’t work out, or, really ever get going. The key is to feel what you’re feeling. For one, you’ll feel it anyway so don’t prolong your suffering. At the very least, try to channel it into something constructive.
3. Take a break
Remember: dating and finding a partner is only one aspect of your life. Make sure that you don’t neglect yourself, or your own interests and passions. Taking a break from dating, or reducing the time you spend will give you time to reframe how you approach the dating process in a way that works for you.
This could also help if you’re burned out because, well you’ve been burned. A string of humdrum, dates, annoying timewasters or even a recent (or not so recent) breakup can have you confuse a positive attitude with naivete. While love is a battlefield, bringing your baggage to a first date is a bad tactical move. It prejudges your date, who may pick up on this.
Dating can be tiring, but there is no need to date all the time, or follow a script of how dating goes. There is no “right age” to be married by and lots of people are in a similar boat. Be sure to not neglect yourself and other aspects of your life. When the time is right everything will fall into place.